I don't understand the weirdest dream of my life. Help? Please?

It started as picture day at school and it was going really badly for me. Two of these guys I know came into the room in tutus and began doing ballet. I ran from the room and into this girl who turned out to be my girlfriend and had no specific facial features but can only be described as beautiful (yes I am gay. Don't hate.) so we started getting it on but then when I took off my pants I had a about the size of a freaking anaconda (That is a big no-no for me in general. Snakes specifically.) which pretty much scared me to death. Now that we weren't in the mood any more we headed off to cl where I had this crazy teacher who was busy cooking a tarantula in a microwave oven AND explaining the 'science' behind it when the cl was supposed to be on music and dance. Then I had this teacher who really haunted me from primary school being all nice and stuff to me before my damn stapler turned into a lighter which exploded in my hand. I awoke after that and I am still female, thank god but I think that's the part that scared me since that NEVER enters my dreams. Neither does my orientation save for those dreams which I suppose are natural since I'm 14.